Looney Tunes=Jennifer MANiston PART DEUX- Oh Yes There is MORE!!

Posted on November 14, 2008

9


Tafandria mandry tompoko

(Good Evening in Malagasy from Madagascar)

 

My Party People!!! What’s the Good Word TONIGHT??

I know that you and I  are so captivated by this Jennifer MANiston story, it’s almost ridiculous how juicy it is. It’s interesting for many reasons First and foremost because it is finally on paper and ink (VOGUE Nov, 19th.. I can hardly WAIT) to read Jen’s own words to confirm what a douche she really is,

jenniferaniston1dyJennifer before a visit to Dr. 90210 for her “deviated septum” ya right!

and SECOND Is because most of the world is on TEAM ANGELINA! Like her or Lump her, if pitted against the talentless Jennifer MANiston she wins a TKO within the first half of round ONE in MY opinion!

Team Aniston of Angelina- You know my PIC

CAST YOU VOTES PEOPLE!! That’s right!! If we can gather together to elect the first President who is for the people, let ban together to RID the Hollywood circut of Aniston!! Who is with me? Oh are you still not convinced she’s totally unworthy of our attention. READ ON MY FRIENDS…

My sources as Conde Nast (Yes I was a lowly freelancer for VOGUE back in the day! Thank goodness I still know a couple people chained to their cubes begging for stale bread and a cup of water) The new issue of VOGUE has more juicy tidbits that Jennifer spilled.

people_jennifer_anistonsffembeddedprod_affiliate138Ummm Jenn I would suggest NOT going into an interview when you’ve apparently nearly OVERDOSED on your perscribed meds..

According to my sources, Jenn let’s it ALL OUT! Like she was lying flat on her shrinks chair just letting everything spill out of her mouth. These are the highlights, or shall I call them low-lights..

MANiston states (No that was not a typo kids) that

1) Vince Vaughn Helped Her Bounce Back After the Pitt Breakup: “I call Vince my defibrillator,”MANiston says. “He literally brought me back to life…He was lovely and fun and perfect for the time we had together.” MANiston: PLEASE! We all know that’s a BOLD FACE, agent written, L.I.E! No ONE bought that! Vince Vaughn couldn’t keep a straight face in ANY of the photos they staged together…

jennifer-aniston-break-up121On the set of the failure of a movie and apparently a relationship “the Break Up” umm can we say “STAGED” Duuh no brainer the papzis were all over that movie set

vincejennifer121Ooooh how cute!!,PLEASE- Vince was a little out of shape here and was probably begging for this to be over so he could catch some air and a light a ciggie!

2) Before Dating John Mayer, She “Barely Knew” His Music: “I deeply, deeply care about him,” she says. “We talk, we adore one another.”

MAniston: Where have you been living?? WHO the hell doesn’t know John Mayer?? “Your body is a wonderland” was EVERYWHERE… commercials, radios, Internet, GLOBAL! You lying sack of BONES.

john_mayer240WOW!! YOU GUYS LOOK really in LOVE!!! Hmmm just like how I LOVE John McCan’t!

3) She’s Still Reconciling With Her Once Estranged Mom: “She’s changed,” Aniston says about her mother, Nancy Dow. “She’s humbled with age. She fell in love. At 73 years old. I’m like, No, no, no, no! I don’t want to hear how great the sex is.”

The Celeb Tabloids Have Her Love Life All Wrong: “This whole ‘Poor lonely Jen’ thing, this idea that I’m so unlucky in love?,” she says. “I actually feel I’ve been unbelievably lucky in love…I’m right where I’m supposed to be.”

968616f0120584360210304SO You are SOOO shriveld up and UPSET at the world, that you can’t stomach to hear that your 73 year old mother is HAPPY and GETTING SOME! That’s pretty gutterballs MANiston. I didn’t even think you could go sooo low! She’s 73! I’ll give you a fist bump MAMA! You can come and share you sex stories with us here on Nightly Candy, we would LOVE to hear how lovin’ is as a Golden Girl!

Blanche was my favorite BTW 😉

gold-395x298-photo1_0prrrrrrrrr… what a VIXEN!


4)Kids Are in Her Future: “I’m going to have children,” she declares. “I just know it.”

MANiston: PLEASE!!! PLEASE!! SPARE US ALL!! The last thing we need is another UNHAPPY celebrity child to grow up an reak their unresolved issues and agnst on the world. Keep that uterine wall EMPTY for all of us!

 

5) Carrie Bradshaw, Beware! “I never liked Sex and the City, the kind of thing where women only feel empowered once they find the Man,” Aniston says. “It is just not up my alley. I don’t believe in it.”

WHAAAAAAT??? I know I had to read that one about two or three times to fully intake the stupidity. Did she just HATE on SATC! OH NO SHE DIDN’T! 

MANISTON: Stop Sipping the HATERADE.. DAMN I mean where do I begin..

First of all… Don’t go hating on SJP!!! I know it’s painful for you to see a woman older than you, RICHER, HAPPILY (really ) MARRIED, A CHILD, and one of the most successful series in the history of TV…

sarahjessica_060411113430552_wideweb__300x4601sex_and_the_city11I KNOW IT HURTS JENNY! Did you want to secretly be on this show, but they BELLY LAUGHED when you agent called to try and get you a guest spot?

It’s LAUGHABLE to think that YOU of all the celebrities is taking a stand on Women’s Liberation and denouncing this show. MANiston you have been the epitome of self-perception and status through linking your arms with a DUDE. That’s why you make up these relationships for the tabloids, Jenn. That is why you are STILL talking about Brad after he ran from your mania into the arms of Angie in 2007! If you were so empowered, you wouldn’t degrade yourself by talking to VOGUE about it.

CASE CLOSED!

JUDGEMENT: PLEASE USE YOUR MILLIONS and buy yourself a LIFE… You can afford a really good one too!

But do POP your head above water and make another bad movie or two so that I can have something to LAUGH silly over!

CASE DISSMISSED

 

or is it……..

 

Mwaaahhhh haaa ha ha ha ha hhhhhaaa

I have a feeling that’s not the last we will hear from me about the world accoring to MANISTON!

 

Stay Tuned for more dish, or whatever else I feel like chatting about!

 

And to

ALL a GOOD NIGHT!

 

Advertisements