Serving Up Nightly Candy’s Academy Award Raves & Rants

Posted on February 24, 2009

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Bonsoir My Friends

The 81st ACADEMY AWARDS… What a Night of Fashion! For those of us who are fashionistas at heart this is the night we look forward too all year! For those of you who actually were looking to be entertained by Hugh Jackman, I know you were sorely disappointed.

hugh_jackmanWOW.. I will give him this.. That lanky man sure can kick those long legs HIGH! He should be a rockette!

Hugh Jackman looked like he had to have snorted a couple lines of coke before performing that wretched musical number with the most random and ridiculous cast. Beyonce, Zac Ephron,the chick from Mamma Mia, and Zac Ephron’s stupid girlfriend, such a strange musical medley with an equally strange soup of singers.

oscars-ratings-2009Beyonce is such a FREAK!!

I could only stomach about 2 minutes of this wak performance TOPS, so I only expect you get through about 1:20….

The Academy got it wrong! Instead of throwing Beyonce on stage, they should have given AR Rahman and Peter Gabriel the platform to perform their nominated songs. What was up with that? I totally am with Peter Gabriel for saying he would not  perform. The Academy called John Legend at the last minute. Who of course wouldn’t turn down the opportunity.

I believe statistically this was one of the lowest rated Oscar shows in a looong time. It totally makes sense!  This year if you bothered to place bets in any Oscar betting pools at work, or were cyber  gambling on top online casinos to place your bets on “who will walk away with the shiny statuette”, it was a no-brain-er this year! Slumdog Millionaire swept the award show last night, snagging the top honors Best Director, Danny Boyle and Movie of the Year. 

I was very pleased (for the most part) of what I saw on the red carpet last night! A lot of oooo’s and aaaah’s. Of course there were a lot of “You’ve got to be kidding me’s” also. Let’s start with my favorites though. Slumdog Millionaire’s two stars Freda Pinto and Dev Patel. It would SUPER CUTE if they were a real couple, because they look dashing together!

slumdog_84976296000x0650x912Awwwwwhhhh shucks.. they are SUPER CUTE… I just want to pinch some cheeks!

Frida’s dress was exquisite. French designer John Galliano never does wrong in my eyes! This was a new and exciting twist on the one shoulder dress!

Another favorite couple for me was of course was the unstoppable , the flawless, the enviable 

BRANGELINA

ajolie_bpitt_84977004000x0400x400Is it possible for these two to EVER to have an off day? My goodness!!

angelina-jolie-brad-pitt-2009-oscars-54ooooh the emerald earring and matching ring complimented the black gown, giving it zest!


I love that Angelina wore black! She marches to the beat of her own drummer. The trend on the red carpet was to wear either white (and variations of it) and or the opposite of the spectrum and go with crazy color. Angie always does her own thing and NAILS it each and every time! It’s almost sickening. 

Penelope Cruz was also looking gorgeous and she won for best supporting actress for her role in Vicky, Christina Barcelona! Congrats Penelope, I totally love you! I’ve loved Penelope since her days of  first starring in Pedro Almodovar’s film’s like “All About My Mother!”

penelope_cruz

Penelope thanks Almodovar in her acceptance speech! That’s right girl, don’t forget your roots!

pedro_almodovar_and_penelopPenelope and Pedro : a dynamic cinematic duo!

 

penelope-cruz-oscar-awards1STUNNING! Looking ETHEREAL in WHITE!

I also have to give a THUMBS WAY UP to my sisters Viola Davis for her Academy Award nomination for Doubt, and Taraji P. Henson for her nomination as Brad Pitt’s mother in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Both amazing performances, and both ladies looked PHENOMENAL and glowing!

viola_davisThese TWO sistahs looked FIERCE!

I must say that, Henson does take the cake for this dress! It was breath-taking! The layers went on for days! It was like a delicate unraveled ,white rose! The statement jewelry was sizzling!

tphenson_84976269000x0567x912GORGEOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kate Winselt was also a favorite for me. I’m a fan of the one shoulder, and I totally loved the two-toned colors!

kwinslet_84977093000x0607x912A perfect look for Kate! Age appropriate and elegant! Like a good Brit should be!

OKAY ENOUGH OF THE GUSHY STUFF

TIME THE RANTS!!!

First of all, what the HELL was Miley Cirus doing there? She is so unbelievably annoying and talentless. Her gown was so trailer park trash wins the lotto! It looks like someone threw up diamonds on a barbie doll. It MIGHT have worked on a 28 year old blushing bride, BUT WAY too much for a teeny-bopper! 

miley_cyrusnext time, please stay home Miley… NO ONE likes you.. racist biatch

Sarah Jessica Parker…. awwwwwh.. I was a little disappointed! I ALWAYS love what she wears, but I was on the fence about the vintage Christian Dior Haute Couture she was sporting. It was a little Miley Cirus for me. It was a little over the top, which I am usually a fan of, but just not her best red carpet moment.

article-1152470-03a00131000005dc-388_306x549Okay.. I do like the bodice.. that’s where it starts and ends with me. Boo SJP you usually nail it! What happened????????

Sean Penn is an ass!

 He cheats on his wife  (Robyn Wright Penn) with UGLY women!  How do I know this you ask? Well, I had a friend in college who told me that she saw Sean Penn at LAX and he hit on her and asked her to go out for a drink with him. She says she declined, but I don’t believe her for one second. She was one of those loose  chicks, that was cute from a far, but FAR from cute. Ever since I heard that story, I NEVER liked this douchebag, I don’t care how great of an actor he is.

Sean Penn was announced the winner, he didn’t even look at his wife, she had to GRAB him and remind him “hey, I’m here.. give me a kiss”. He ran up there and said “I want to be very clear that I do know how hard I make it to appreciate me, often.” Ummm you got that right idiot! You didn’t even thank your wife or your children, but yes you took time to get all political on us Sean. Blah…Blah.. Blah… your an ass who cheats on his wife, I’m not listening to you!

penn_84976679-2000x0607x912Robyn, stop hanging on him like a little girl! You’re a great actress get back out there and find a NEW man!

Robert Pattinson from Twilight, was a presenter who looked like he had been doing some SERIOUS drugs last night and probably just before the limo pulled up!

robert_pattinsonWhere is the coke plate guys?

Of course…. we are saving the best for last…

MICKEY ROURKE

Good LAWD have mercy on us ALL that we had to look at him the whole night! The dyed clip hair extensions, the dyed porn style mustache that looks like he glued it on (thank you Rachel N. for that one), the spray tan, the white suit???? Was it Easter Sunday Service or the Academy Awards Mickey? What the hell is up?? The only thing that was noteworthy about this hot mess of an outfit, was the signature “Loki” necklace he was rocking. RIP LOKI!!!

mrourke_84976650000x0586x912OHHH NO!! This is so wrong in SO many ways.. What’s up the buldge hanging to the left?? He went commando on Oscar night?? Actually, I don’t expect anything less from him to be honest… YIKES

I could go on and on… BUT we must stop somewhere! I have more ranting to do about BRANGELINA vs MANISTON, but alas that is for another post.

Stay Tuned for more Sweet Treats!

Night Night


 


 

 

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