Please Stay AWAY From Seasonique

Posted on May 5, 2009


Evening Sweeties 

Women have hated menstruation for as long as we’ve been around. It has been been described in many colorful euphemisms such as:

Aunt Flo is in town

The Crimson Tide

Closed for business

The Dam has burst

The Curse of Eve

T-Minus 9 months and holding

 No matter what you call it every month most women of a child bearing age have to deal with a week of the shedding of the lining of their uterine wall once a month. I truly hope there are no men reading this making faces and saying “eww that’s gross” because that is so 2nd grade. You don’t know how many grown men I have come across that can’t even say the word period. It is a part of life and how we all got here. So deal with it and read on.

 I used to suffer from the worst cramps. In boarding school it was SO BAD I would have to stay in the infirmary where they gave me Tylenol with codine.When that didn’t work and I was still writhing on the floor in pain the Dr. had no choice but to give me a shot of Demerol right in the bum.  I will never forget that pain. I remember the nurse blotting my head with a towel telling me “well at least you know what contractions feel like!” That was SOO not what I needed to hear at that moment! Not comforting at all. I have yet to bring a child into the world and the pains of birth are not on my list of top favorite things I want to experience but I have comfort in knowing that millions of women before me have gone through it as so will I. I am thankful for yoga , pilates and a good diet because those crazy cramps are history and God willing when I do have a child it will be over before I realize. 

Even in the midst of the fetus positioning pain that I went through with the worst cramps in the world I NEVER once wished that I didn’t menstruate. That to me is absolutely ludicrous! I watched an expose last year where some silly Doctors were saying that it was unnecessary for a woman to menstruate every month.  I will never be convinced that I should alter my body to function in a way that it was not created to. 

Whenever you turn on the TV these days there are millions of commercials for a plethora of  ailments. They just cram it down our throats hoping we will RUN to our Doctors to complain about our restless legs and heart burn so the insurance companies get their cut. Recently the powers that be have come up with yet another pill to for women to “repunctuate their lives” (whatever that might mean exactly) it is called Seasonique.

First of all the name is so ghetto-fabulous it sounds like name of some girl that Lil’ Wayne would rap about. Right there I am majorly suspicious. Second this pill claims that it will reduce your periods from 12 times a year to 4! PLEASE ladies don’t fall for this because it is the biggest crock I have ever heard. 

It might sound good  at first when you hear the words “fewer periods” but just ask yourself where do all the missed periods  magically disappear to? Somehow I find it hard to believe that keeping something in your body (like the lining of your uterus) that is supposed to be released is a good idea. PLUS like with any drug these days there are major side effects that they quickly say at the end of the commercial believing that your brain will just skip over it.

Not this brain! 

The side effects may include: Blood Clots, Stroke, and Heart Attack

Who in their right mind would willingly sign up for that?

Don’t believe the hype ladies. Seasonique sounds like a one way ticket to a whole lot of hell.

SCARY STUFF in deed!

I relish in the simplicity of life. Why mess with something that women have been going through since Eve bit the apple? If you are blessed to have all your parts functioning properly my advice is to not mess with it. That is just my non-medical opinion but:

“You Don’t Have to Take My Word For It”

As Levar Burton said at the crux of every episode of Reading Rainbow:

 I LOVED that show! Doesn’t it bring you back to a simpler time.

Night Night